اعلان الهيدر

“A happy person is not happy because of certain circumstances, but rather because of their attitudes.” - Hugh Downs

Are you happy ? On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you today?

Our modern society places a lot of importance on fear, desires and pride. Although our overall standard of living is improving, people seem more and more unhappy in our time .

Whether at work, at home or away, happiness seems almost unattainable. This is why I took the time to compile 5 principles that will allow you to move forward in your quest for happiness.

# 1: Contemplate your negative emotions / thoughts; don't suppress them

Today, most of us do not know how to manage our emotions. Just look at what we do when we are unhappy / angry / stressed / scared. Is :

(a) we fall asleep(b) we eat (emotional bulimia)(c) we drink (alcoholism)(d) we smoke(e) we put our heads in the sand, working and / or(f) completely ignoring our emotions.

So what happens when we don't manage our negative emotions? Well, by not responding to our emotions / thoughts, these then become repressed. We then have the impression that our negative emotions / thoughts disappeared the next day, but no, they are still there. They are just buried deep in our subconscious.

It is only a matter of time before they emerge again, usually when we are faced with a situation that triggers these latent memories. At that point, we can either continue to ignore our feelings, and therefore repeat this cycle again, or deal with it immediately this time.

You must now choose, will you continue to ignore the cries of alarm in your mind by anaesthetizing yourself in your daily routine, or will you have the courage to start living your life in full awareness? It is up to you.

How can we manage our negative emotions / thoughts?

1. First, by clearing your mind. Especially if the incident has just happened and you are faced with a great influx of negative emotions. Meditation , or simply contemplating our situation from an external point of view, is very useful for this purpose.

You can also use whatever is usually stress relieving, like playing a game, taking a break, walking a bit, listening to music, etc. As long as you get back to your problem situation after relaxing a bit.

2. Identify your source of unhappiness , asking yourself, "What makes me unhappy?" . The answers can be very revealing, especially if you've never asked yourself the question.

This will push you in the right direction, because rather than taking your emotions as they are, you are now making the effort to understand them. If you are already very aware of your emotions, this will allow you to go even further.

3. Create a list of steps that will help you manage your source of unhappiness. See the next steps.

# 2: Take Action on What Makes You Unhappy

I would say that I am a very happy person. Not because I don't have negative emotions like everyone else, there are times when I feel unhappy. There are also times when I get angry or on the contrary when I am sad.

What should I do during these times? Should I allow myself to sink into my negative emotions? No, this is not what I want. It's useless and it would just waste my mental energy.

If something is bothering you, take care of it now. Don't let your unhappiness grow, because your happiness must be your number 1 priority in your life. Here are my few tips:

1. Fix your problem immediately. There is no point in waiting. The longer you wait, the more unhappy you will feel.

2. Focus on what you can do , not what you can't do. This includes ( a ) things in the present ( b ) your thoughts and actions. So no things in the past or in the future, or thoughts or actions that concern other people.

3. Remember that every problem has its solution . You are only limited by your mind. It is only when you broaden the scope of your reflection that you will find the solution that best suits you. Be creative .

4. Once you've done everything you can, let things run their course.You did everything you could. Now let the others and the universe do their part.

# 3: Update your belief system

If a problem persists despite you have done everything to resolve it, or if the source of unhappiness is irreversible (for example, the death of a loved one or change the past) or something beyond your reach (such as thoughts or actions of others)… It's because you have limiting beliefs that prevent you from seeing the situation from another point of view!

It is very easy to believe that we are not in control of our emotions , this is how we say “he / she annoys me”, “you make me sad”, “you tire me”… It is the sign that we are wrong, because our emotions belong to us . It is up to us to choose whether we want to live with nervousness, sadness or, on the contrary, joy. Yes, it's that simple .

Moving from the “I won't get anywhere in my life” mentality to “I can overcome anything that happens to me” can make a huge difference in your life. In one case you sabotage yourself , and in the other you have confidence in your ability to find solutions to your problems.

That is why it is important to review and clean up our “beliefs”. Keep only those that help you and allow you to move forward. And if something makes you unhappy, there is no point in constantly rehashing it, because you are only making your life more miserable.

This is precisely the signal that you have to introspect and update your belief system, which will allow you to dissolve these limiting beliefs and replace them with helping beliefs. .

N ° 4: See the glass half full or half empty

You have surely already heard the proverb “After the rain, the good weather”. This means that even if a situation seems negative or hopeless, there will always be positive sides to it.

For example, here is a list of things that the majority of people would consider negative, especially if this happens to us.

Arriving late for an appointmentProcrastinate on a projectMiss a job interviewBeing fired from workBreak up with a spouseLiving in a difficult situation (financial, professional, family, etc.)

What if I told you that there is a positive side to each of these situations above?

A situation perceived as negative -> The positive side of the situation.

Arriving late for an appointment -> ( 1 ) You now know that there are limits to be met to arrive on time. ( 2 ) Your delay has taught you the importance of being punctual.Procrastinating on a project -> You are now aware that you will have to reconsider your project from another point of view to find your motivation, which is already bringing you closer to your goal.Missing a job interview -> ( 1 ) Analyzing the interview after the event will allow you to learn what to avoid doing / saying for your next interview. ( 2 ) What you learned from this interview can help you get a better job in the future.Being fired from work -> ( 1 ) This will allow you to have time to think about what you want to do in your life. ( 2 ) You can now embark on new opportunities. Whether it's working for new companies, choosing other roles or launching a new career, or starting your own business.Break up with a spouse -> ( 1 ) Be released from a relationship that was not working. If your spouse was not happy in this relationship, then you could not have been happy either in the long run. ( 2 ) You can now meet other people, and most likely find someone who will match you better than your ex.Living in a difficult situation -> ( 1 ) Managing this situation will help you to develop your capacities to face the unexpected. You will gain wisdom and strength of character. ( 2 ) What you learn will help you grow and improve as an individual, and much more than if you had never experienced this type of situation.

Some may say that I am far too optimistic with what I wrote above. But this is not the case. What is written there are facts, not fictions. Many people missed their job interview, and ended up getting the jobs they dreamed of at another company.

Many people have broken up with their spouses with difficulty, to live a fulfilling relationship with their new half.
Just as I am sure you have gone through difficult times in your life that have helped you to become who you are now.

Everything that happens in our lives, even what disappoints us , makes us better people. Once you understand this, then you can see each problem as a learning process that allows you to go further in your life.

Here are some tips for seeing the bright side (the glass half full) in each situation:

Recognize that there is always something positive to be learned from each “negative” situation. It's up to you to find out what it is.What experiences did you learn from this incident? All of your experiences, whether good or bad, have led you to this situation.What lessons have you learned? You would never have understood these lessons if you had not experienced this situation.What does not kill you makes you stronger. What skills or competences have you developed through this situation?Every problem comes with its share of opportunities . What opportunities are now open to you as a result of this situation?

# 5: Drop your expectations (and focus on intentions)

Focus on your intentions , not your expectations . It is difficult to be happy when we have very specific expectations of how things should be. This is why by focusing on what we really want, rather than on the “how” we would like it to manifest, necessarily makes us happier.

For example, you want to have a job in such a sector with a suitable pay. This is more likely to happen than if you think you absolutely must be caught by company X, with salary Y to be happy at work.

It is not a question of making concessions on our “ideals”, but of realizing that what can satisfy us is not necessarily linked to conditions which we have determined in advance. .

Also for this same example, it is possible that a company Z offers you a lower salary, but by informing you a little, you realize that it often increases its employees and that the working environment is pleasant there .

Understand that every goal we have in life is linked to an intention that we want to see happen, but at the same time there are thousands of ways to make it happen.

So don't get stuck in your goal ideal. Continue to have goals and pursue them, while staying focused on your intentions behind them. Once this is done, you will realize that you can progress much faster than you thought and that your ideals simply prevented you from doing what was necessary to advance towards your objectives.

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